T: 01264 356 296
E: chris@hmgcoatings.co.uk
Is currently giving up smoking for the 17th time in 2 years and has turned to
electronic cigarettes instead of relying on the power of her will with some degree of
success. In fact her e cigarettes are so realistic, they even come in a pack marked
‘Rothmans.’ She loves heavy rock (The music, not geological land formations) and
is harder to photograph than the invisible man in a blackout shelter.
T: 01264 356 296
E: stephanie@hmgcoatings.co.uk
T: 01264 356 296
E: janice@hmgcoatings.co.uk
Not unlike another with the same initials, J.C. is beloved and worshipped, largely
due to her sublime combination of grace, charm and (When the situation demands
it) industrial language. She exudes and all enveloping, matriarchal warmth that is
the source of all our strength and has the most highly advanced ‘Zoning Out’ skills
on earth as a consequence of sharing an office with Paul Whitewick (Firstly as he
uses her as a sounding board to expound the fountain of his musical knowledge and
secondly, as that office is the centre point for all football based discussions as the
One hour game on Monday evenings seems to require at least 60 hours per week to
talk about.) She finds Pierce Brosnan and David Essex attractive (But then don’t we
all.)
T:  01264 356 296
M:
07919 897 255
E: gnowell@hmgcoatings.co.uk
The Sundance Kid to Paul Whitewick’s Butch Cassidy... Although to the best of our
knowledge they have never blown up a train, robbed a payroll or been killed in a hail of
Mexican gunfire. The pulsating heartbeat of HMG and despite exuding more testosterone than a herd of rampaging buffalo, is actually surprisingly camp and caring. Gary is a natural sportsman with a highest snooker break of 11 and a best time for 800 metres of 2 hours 47 minutes.
T:  01264 356 296
M:
07860 729 779
E: pwhitewick@hmgcoatings.co.uk
The softly spoken figurehead of our great company. Has borderline OCD obsessions
with statistics and loves a good spreadsheet. He doesn’t do ‘indifference’ and when
something captures his attention he immerses himself totally... Past fads have
included geocaching, golf, Shreddies and ‘Clash of clans’ but his eternal desires will
forever remain Spotify, Carol Vorderman and former Everton goalkeeper Neville
Southall.
T:  01264 356 296
E: steve@hmgcoatings.co.uk
M: 07850 346 463
E: david@hmgcoatings.co.uk
The Godfather of Sales Reps. He may look like a Chief Superintendant in his photograph, but that in no way does justice to his monumental cuddliness and the levels of personal warmth he exudes on a daily basis. Men want to be him, women want to be with him.
T:  01264 356 296
Supreme ruler of the paint room. On her day is a force of nature and marginally less
approachable than a wounded rhinocerous protecting her young, but is as vital to HMG’s success as Mark Knopfler was to the success of Dire Straits.
T:  01264 356 296
Always smiling and always more pleasant than a gentle breeze on a summer day. Refuses steadfastly to swear under any circumstances despite often bewildering levels of provocation. Takes Fantasy Football very seriously and is very much of the Jose Mourinho school of backhanded comments and attempted mental disintegration of his rivals. A man of few failings but if One were to be identified it would have to be the consistent absence of a belt for his trousers as he often displays more ‘crack’ than the Drug Enforcement Agency following a particularly successful raid.
T:  01264 356 296
T:  01264 356 296
Loveable on a scale that The Disney Corporation can only dream of and is borderline
German in his efficiency. Fear rips through the building when Dave takes holiday as then the warehouse becomes more like a Russian Gulag under the vicious control of Dick ‘The Ripper’ Dunlop. Dave loves football (Despite supporting Newcastle United) and is a beautiful, panache laden warrior both on the football pitch and in life in general.
An actor who many of you will doubtless recognise as the voice of the ‘Emergency
Evacuation Notice’ at the Lambeth Bishop’s Conference for the last 5 years. So
successful has his theatrical and television career been that between he and the late
Richard Burton they have 7 Academy Award Nominations, 2 Tony Awards, 1 World
Theatre Award, 3 Baftas, 3 Golden Globes, 1 Certificate for Safe Transit Driving and 1
CBE.
The Commander In Chief, El Presidente, He who matters, Le Grand Fromage... Whenever he sweeps through the building with his lustrous head of hair flowing majestically, everything seems right with the world. A One Man carnival of Feng Shui and more relaxing than listening to Simon and Garfunkel in a Radox bath. The Yoda of the paint community, his loves include Emmerdale and Red Wine (One is probably needed to enjoy the other) and was in the 1978 Guinness Book of Records as the world record holder for the highest ever break at Bar Billiards (Fact.)
E: amy.whitewick@btconnect.com
She might be small and charming in stature and demeanour, but there's more to this lady than meets the eye. Well versed in the dark arts of PHP and website coding, she probably already knows what you had for breakfast this morning based on your IP address. Holding the title for the 2012 John Gould Award for services to the Kennet and Avon Canal, and being a successful author, film editor and director, the People’s Republic of China do not collectively have enough fingers to put in all the pies that this lady is involved in
The ‘Dungeonmaster’ has lived enough to make the biography of Jack Nicholson seem as interesting as a satellite dish
installation manual. Built Nelson Mandela’s house and played football in South Africa in front of regular crowds of 30,000
people. All that was just building towards the pinnacle of being an HMG driver. What Martin doesn’t know about tact and
diplomacy could fill the book ‘Everything You Need to Know About Tact and Diplomacy’ but he is as generally as
charming to talk and listen to as Piers Morgan isn’t.
Last known to be even mildly grumpy in about 1978. Another who in terms of amiability seems to make Paddington Bear look like Pol Pot. Loves music and Gillingham FC (Although music gives him significantly more joy of late) and One imagines he delivers around Kent in the same life-affirming way Postman Pat does around Greendale (Although where Pat just had a cat in the cab, Kevin has what appears to be survival provisions for the next Two decades.) Won’t deliver between 10:30 and 10:50 AM as he will be listening to Ken Bruce and ‘Popmaster’
This swarthy, bearded beast of humanity has already achieved legendary status with those lucky enough to inhabit his world. It is impossible to predict what he will find funny, interesting or anger provoking at any given moment and is just as likely to react the same way to a lost paper clip as to setting the building on fire. Saved a woman’s life recently while on deliveries but didn’t mention it, instead concentrating on a new set of temporary traffic lights just off the A31... But that is just One of many reasons we love the maverick genius who is also the world’s foremost authority on the history of speed cameras (Don’t ask as it is 2 hours of your life you will never get back.)
 
Tel: +44(0)1264 356296    •    Fax: +44(0)1264 338123    •     Email: sales@hmgcoatings.com
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In 1975, he along with a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court
for a crime he didn’t commit. He promptly escaped from a maximum security
stockade into the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by The Government
he survives as a soldier of fortune. If you have a problem... If no-one else can help...
Then if you can find him, maybe you could hire....